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Papai, 20 anos de saudade!

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Minhas memórias ...
Quando eu muito perguntava, ele respondia: isso aqui é um botequim. Porém, eu observava mais do que ele imaginava. Era um “botequim” antigo, cercado de casinhas pintadas de cores fortes, o salão estreito e comprido, meio sombrio para os fundos; o calor, as réstias de luz caídas pelas frestas do telhado encardido, pareciam estrelas cortando o sol sem brilho. Num canto de parede, uma radiola de fichas, que insistia em tocar sempre a mesma música: um Tango para Tereza.

Os homens que por ali andavam, não pareciam ter pressa. Nem eu. Sempre que ia ao tal "botequim", observava e obedecia piamente ao meu pai, ficava sentadinho no batente de entrada. Ali arrastava o olho em todas as direções dos quase trezentos e sessenta graus vistos da minha posição “estratégica”. As noites eram quentes, e o calor aquecia os gritos que pareciam vir dos fundos do tal “botequim”. Lembro-me que tentei por vezes abrandar o medo que sentia, adoçando o ouvido com o insistente bolero, mas as pessoas entravam e saiam daquele lugar como se a música abrisse longos corredores, me passando a esquisita sensação de que algo não estava bem. O lugar era no mínimo incoerente, alguns dançavam, outros choravam, e outros tamborilavam tranquilamente com os dedos nas mesas as músicas que pediam repetitivamente, dando compasso e aguçando cada vez mais o meu olhar de criança.
Eu não entendia, mas na cabeça do meu pai eu tinha uma função ali. Talvez o meu oficio fosse aprender a ter um olhar mais humano, numa madrugada quente com homens e mulheres de rostos feios e envelhecidos. Talvez! Descobri depois de um certo tempo, que o lugar que eu conheci por "botequim", era na verdade o cabaré da minha cidade, e as vezes que frequentamos juntos o local foi para ajudar a salvar vidas de algumas prostitutas, que envolvidas em brigas acabavam furando umas as outras com armas brancas.

Recordo-me de uma cuba de ferro, cheia de tesouras, pinças, gazes, esparadrapos e medicamentos diversos, que papai fazia-me carregar de baixo do braço até o referido local , eu carregava aquilo com um orgulho imenso, me achava o máximo! Imagino ele, que tinha ao seu lado o primeiro filho nessas loucas empreitadas noturnas (...) Uma curva e mais alguns metros dividiam a nossa casa (farmácia) e o baixo meretrício, fazíamos o percurso a pé, era um tempo de vida pacata na cidade, e nesse ínterim, íamos conversando e saudando todos os amantes da boemia macaibense.

Guardo do meu pai, sons, cheiros, sabores e essas grandezas da vida. Assim como os importantes pintores, meu pai usou valores para traduzir luz e sombra em forma de pequenos exemplos. Imprimiu na tela da vida, sorrisos, gentilezas, e o mais importante, nos deixou a riqueza perpassada do fazer o bem sem olhar a quem. Histórias assim, tenho muitas, somente os mais íntimos as conhecem, resolvi escrever aqui, em memória pela passagem dos seus 20 anos de falecimento. E como um acalanto, continuo sendo o seu maior admirador.

 

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